You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
