he shaved USA in his pubs
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
