i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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