Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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