Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
