I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
