We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
