My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
