I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize