WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
