Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
