i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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