Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
