Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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