The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
