yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Randomize
