i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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