im six kinds of drunk right now
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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