So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
