ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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