i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
