I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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