Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize