i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
