Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
