If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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