She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
