He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
