Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
