none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he puts the penis in happiness.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Is Oprah even human
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
This toilet bowl is my home.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
