Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
