they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My pussy is not your playground.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
