Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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