so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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