what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize