Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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