you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize