pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
