am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
