reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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