im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
