I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize