I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
In America we eat man semen.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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