I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
