Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
