aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize