i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
