The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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