she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
