Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
