i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
