And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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