11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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