Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
