It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
