I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
