I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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