A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
