she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
