i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
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