Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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