lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
