shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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