Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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